Fasting & Prayer - Day 6 - Angst...

A fast without prayer is a diet, a cleanse, a detox - but it is not spiritual fasting.  That reality hit me pretty hard.  What a fast does, however, is strip away the layers between me and God.  Pretty soon I am staring at the reality of what stands between us.  It takes my breath away.  Really.  To consider that possibly I am willing to DO anything EXCEPT settle in quietness and with intention spend time listening to God - well that is a shocking revelation.  In fact, it is the type of revelation that propels me right back towards 'DO'.  Surely there is something else I can DO?


Reminds me of all the angst of a 'first date' actually.  Will I say the right thing?  Will it go well?  That angst is, perhaps, well deserved because in human relationships, the beginning encompasses so much of the unknown.  However, when it comes to God - He has done everything He possibly can to ensure I have comfort, I have peace, I have something to hold onto that gives me confidence.

In June, a friend went through a profound prayer experience and shared it on her blog.  I was blessed by the account.  As she went through this very personal struggle with God, she had to confront what the Bible says about pain and the source of pain.  She shared the biblical guide she used to determine the source of her pain.  It is entitled God's Pain vs The Enemy's Pain.  Referring to this frequently began to shape my internal dialogue.

As this fast progresses, I find myself frequently returning to the biblical narrative to determine the source of my thoughts.   Let me share an excerpt:

Bridegroom vs. Harsh Husband 

Christ is called our loving Bridegroom all throughout Scripture. A loving Bridegroom is a patient listener, affectionate, an advocate and rescuer, willing to give up His life to save, quick to respond to the needs of His bride, words of love and kindness are constantly on his tongue, prayers are continually ebbing forth for the benefit of His Beloved. The enemy’s ways are like that of a harsh husband; one who is impatient, cold and haughty, never pleased, distant, demanding, controlling, verbally and physically abusive, selfish and feigning tenderness only to get what he wants. Anything of the nature of a harsh husband that comes against us is not from God.

Shepherd vs. Roaring Lion 

John 10:11-15 defines Christ as a good shepherd who lays down His life for His sheep. As our shepherd He is deeply interested and concerned in even the smallest matter, watchful, constantly alerted to the needs of His own. He never tires, He never sleeps. He is always looking upon His lambs with an affectionate gaze, ready to fight and defeat any fiend that would dare attack those under His care. Satan is defined as a roaring lion in 1 Peter 5:8. A roaring lion is the opposite of a good shepherd. He looks to control through fear instead of love. He rules through intimidation, not respect. He makes demands and threatens severe punishments if not obeyed. He makes the soul anxious and tense (rather than the absolute peace that is promised by the Shepherd in Psalm 23). The enemy roars loudly about his power and constantly yells, “Beware! The enemy is more powerful than you!” Anything of the “roaring lion” nature that comes against us is not from God.

So what do I do?  I sit quietly, patiently and I repeat in my mind Isaiah 26:3 - You will keep me in perfect peace who's mind is stayed upon You because I trust in You...  I do trust God's Word to me.  Again I repeat the words as the Holy Spirit brings them alive in my mind...  It is God's job to keep me in perfect peace.  Again I repeat the words - reveling in the truth of each word...  Slowly, my mind calms down and I am at peace.  In the stillness, God speaks.  And it is good...